Cherry Blow Pop
Volcanoes
I built my world around volcanoes,
Knowingly and unafraid I did so,
Even then I underestimated the risks,
Now I can only watch as my world begins to unravel and fall apart,
I pray, beg, and plead to an absentee Goddess,
Oh spirit of this long dormant island,
Take pity upon this lonely, ship-wrecked soul,
I gasp for breath and cling to what flotsam I can find,
At the edge of my world I still float,
And and I can do naught but watch it end,
I understand now the consequences of faulty planning,
One can not build an island atop more than one volcano,
When one erupts, the other softly seethes,
And one can do naught but watch, or leave.
Fin
Masquerade
At first it was a joke, just for fun,
Pursuit of the heretofore unpursued,
With virginal naivete it was easy to believe,
Sweet whispered I love you’s in the height of sensuality,
Who is this exotic dream who calls at 2 AM?
First one lie, then another,
Fooling the gullible is the easiest part,
The challenge lies in not believing it yourself,
It’s 1 AM and I’m breaking her heart,
Snowballing fabrications caught hold of our emotions,
Look at the momentum we’ve created,
The easier it became to create another fib,
the harder it became to reveal the truth,
False starts, stops, and intermissions,
Now it’s 2 AM and she’s crying in my ear,
“Don’t cry” she pleads, prompting a wave of tears,
She has been wearing a mask for so long,
“Will you tell me who you really are?”
“You’ll hate me, I swear”
An emotional tug of war.
It’s 3 AM and I’m parked in a Walmart lot,
It’s hard, yet relieving to know now,
Only the truth can set you free,
I wake up in a haze, as if I’m dreaming,
It all takes time to process and reconcile,
It’s 9 AM and the previous night floods back,
“Do you hate me yet?”
“I love you.”
Faces may change,
But emotions are real.
Dear —–
Dear —–,
How bittersweet it is to hear those sighs,
To hear the pain and the sweetness blended into one,
Your voice the apex of all the humanity one could express,
How I longed to hear those amorous sighs,
Murmurings in my ear on warm summer nights,
You came to me, in a dream,
Again and repeatedly, swearing you’d never leave,
In my mind’s eye I made love to you in ways immortals would envy,
And I was ready to embrace all mortality with you,
To share in pain, joy, sorrow and mirth,
To love and enjoy the good with the bad,
To frolic on moonlit lakes,
To suffer the summer’s heat and the winter’s freeze,
For the longest time I dreaded waking from this dream,
Such things were too good to last,
If a god existed, only he could create a creature just as ethereal,
Your kisses the sweetest ambrosia none of the gods could equal to drink such sweet nectar,
Your caresses the soothing wind on a summer night,
All of this, and more, could not begin to suffice,
Could never hope to encapsulate you and do you justice,
Nor Zeus could be worthy enough to worship at your feet,
Sweet summer goddess.
The Idea of You
I look for you, everywhere I go
I’ve never seen you in person
I only have an idea of how tall you are
What I could see of your body
Your face
And I look at other girls
And try to see you in them
Does she look the right height?
Is that what her build is like?
Could those eyes have the same shape as yours?
What about her skin color,
Is it the same brown as yours?
I look for you everywhere I go
Trying to visualize what you look like
That short, skinny, brown skinned cashier with the black hair
Could she look anywhere remotely like you?
Is her height equal or less?
If it’s the right height, I wonder,
How does my chin fit on the top of her head?
Do I have to lean downwards?
Does she have tilt her head up and stand on her tiptoes?
And everywhere I go
None of them measure up to the ghost of you.
That short Filipino mix who’s come in to charge her Blackberry
Could she be in the same situation as you?
Does she too have a remote boyfriend who can only send his love over the phone?
Is someone on your side,
Letting you charge your phone long enough to make an urgent call?
Are any of these girls,
Could any of these girls,
Ever be capable of loving someone like me,
Like you can?
No, none of them can, or would.
None of these girls can be you
And yet I still look everywhere for you,
For the ghost of the idea of you
I Cried
I admit it, I cried. I cried and sobbed like a little bitch,
I’m bawling loudly, uncontrollably,
Like the worthless scum that I am .
Now my tears and prayers fall mute,
Upon the deaf ears of an absentee summer goddess.
I didn’t deserve you, I was never the ideal man.
I was an idiot for believing in this dream,
For believing you could love a wretch like me.
I flew to close to the beautiful summer sun,
I dared to wish to drink your sweet caresses,
And now I am paying the price.
On the way home, I find it difficult to drive,
I attempt to sing, lyrics coming out little more than tear choked wails,
While tears and scrunched up eyes obscure my field of vision.
The first summer was the most beautiful of all,
When our love was new and optimistic,
When the future was so promising,
And our first vocalizations of love were so innocent and pure.
You were willing to look past my defects,
To see something inside me worth loving,
And discover the strength I never knew I had.
Now I sit here, writing this,
Parked under a solitary street lamp,
Caterwauling like a child with a broken bone,
I imagined your caresses to be so soft,
Your words so sweet and tender,
Your kisses unrivaled even by those of the summer sun.
I have lost you now, for good.
You are leaving me to find your own happiness,
Having no further need for me,
You leave me to suffer the absence of a ghost.
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